good fortune

My wife's fortune cookie from lunch today said, "you will emerge victorious from the maze you have been in". The funny part is that when she gave it to me to read (we were driving, she knows how to read!), she told me that she hoped it said she was getting a baby. Maybe it does, if you read between the lines!

In other news...this 2ww wait is killing me!

I went in Saturday and Sunday morning and everything went as usual. I hope we got our timing down. We triggered at 5pm and then had an IUI at 17 hours and another at 41 hours. Hopefully, that covered the window. Our 1st vial was 21 million swimmers and the 2nd was 59 million. Not sure why the difference but as long as one makes it, I'll be good. Now what to do with myself....I guess work. This week and next are my busiest times at work so that will help. If this doesn't work, I don't know what we're gonna do except take some time off, find a new doctor, and buy more swimmers. We're also going to change donors. Hopefully, this worked and I won't have to think about any of that stuff but I do like to have me a backup plan just in case.

**spoiler alert** do not continue reading if you plan on watching the Kids Are Alright



We watched the Kids Are Alright Saturday night....YUCK! It stared off with such promise and then they make the lesbian sleep with a man! Annette Benning was great in her role, but it just irritated me that her wife slept with their kids' donor. I mean really, us lesbians are going to be in a long term committed relationship and then the donor shows up and we sleep with him?? WTF? Other than that part it was a good movie depicting lesbians with kids. They could of even gone a different route with the donor showing up but no..they wanted her to sleep with him.

happy Monday everyone and to those of us in the 2ww wait, I hope it flies by!!

Go Time!

The wife just shot me up with the trigger shot at 5pm and we have IUI #6 scheduled for 10am tomorrow morning which will be about 17 hours later. We will do IUI #6.2 Sunday morning at 10:15 which will be about 41 hours later. I was told that I have a 15mm follicle that probably won't even release according to the nurse and another 21mm one. I don't know if the timing is right but I hope and pray that it is. Either result will bring relief. We'll either be on our way to a mommy-hood or finally done with this horrible practice my RE joined last October. While I hope it works, being done with them will also bring some comfort. I have cried my eyes out the last two times I have been there. I drove all the way to work today and couldn't stop crying so I texted my boss from the parking lot asking to take a sick day. Thank God she is understanding of this whole thing and said yes. She actually referred me to his original practice where her and her partner went for their first kid. She did 3 tries with this new practice and is looking to switch as well. I had my u/s at 8:30 this morning and was told that the doctor would look a the results and that a nurse would call me back. I didn't hear anything until 3:30. This is the exact kind of shit that is pissing me off. I asked to talk to the Doc about doing 1 IUIs this cycle and the nurse told me no, that he wasn't even there. At his last practice I either saw him or his Nurse Practitioner who we really liked. Now at this new place I have a different nurse up in my business every time I'm there and have yet to see the Doc. To top things off for my IUIs this weekend I have to see the anti same sex couples doc since he is the one on call this weekend. I was also charged $180 for storage today that will cover Jan, Feb, and Mar. I told the lady that we're using both vials this weekend and will have nothing to store for Feb and March and her reply was that I had to pay the $ and then call the billing dept to contest it. WTF! This is yet another reason why I hate this place. Any person you call doesn't bother to call you back for hours on end. Don't they know I'm packed full of hormones and I need answers NOW! If this one doesn't work, we're going to take a vacation, find a new doctor, and change donors. Hopefully, we won't have to go that route, although I could definitely use a vacation. Please, please, please let this work so we can have our baby and be done with this horrible practice.

confession

I have a confession to make. I took more gonal then what was prescribed last night. After everything we went through to get the meds and how much we paid for them, I'll be damned if I'm going to have some extra. I have a 300iu pen and was prescribed a 75iu injection for days 5, 7, an 9. I asked about the leftover and they told me to discard it! Really?? That shits expensive and you want me to discard it?? So, I took upon myself to take 75iu on Sunday, and 112.5iu last night and I will take 112.5iu again tomorrow night. This way I take every drop that I paid for. A little extra can't hurt right? I hope it only helps my case. I need some big, fat follies with a target on them so my swimmers know where to attack. I don't think it will hurt, there are women out there who take higher doses then what I was prescribed so I hope it doesn't backfire on me. Anyone else take this stuff? If so, what have your experiences been? I took femara days 3-7 and then the gonal days, 5, 7, 9. I go in Friday to check my follies and to see when I have to trigger. I have 2 vials left and I kind of want to do both this cycle but my RE is hesitant. Did any of you do 2 shots in 1 cycle? Any feedback would be much appreciated!

CD7

As you can tell from the title, I finally started my period. The nurse said the bc pills can delay it like that. I went in on day 3 and got my u/s and all looked good. The cyst was gone and I was cleared to start my fe.mara on days 3-7. On Friday, I had a total breakdown. This was the first time that I cried during this whole process. Back in Dec, the doc gave me a voucher for 300iu of folli.stim. I had all that drama with my gall bladder so I had to wait a cycle. The pharmacy told me not to worry and to just order it in Jan when I was ready. So I call Friday and order the folli.stim and my trigger shot. She charges me $65 and tells me the other med is free. She calls me back a couple of hours later and tells me the voucher expired 12/31 and that I will need to pay $423. Are you fucking kidding me?? I was not prepared for this nor did I budget for this. I hate using my credit card and to be honest I was just pissed because I would have ordered it back in Dec had someone told me it expired. She then tells me that the gonal.f is the same medication and only costs $260. Well that sounds better so she tells me she will call the doc to get it ok'd to switch. Here is where the stress comes in. My order had to go out by 7pm to make it here for me to take by Sunday. The pharmacy and myself each called 2 times and did not hear back until 6:25pm that night. My doc switched to one of these big practices and I have hated it ever since. You can't get a call in, you can't get one returned and you feel like cattle as they shuffle you through. I was so pissed that it took 4 hours for a return call when there was 4 messages that were left. I like my doc but we will be switching if these next 2 tries don't work since they already have them in their storage. So i got the meds after many tears. We did the shot on Sunday and will do another one tonight. This is my first cycle with the injections but so far so good. Other then my raging hormones on day 3, I haven't felt anything. I was so mad on Friday which is usually not like me. I also don't cry. Not that I don't want to, I just don't. My poor wife has only seen me cry once in 6 years and she didn't know what to think last Friday. I told her that all this baby making stress has finally caught up to me. I'm much better now and focused on what lies ahead. I go in this Friday to check my follies and to see when we will trigger. I'm thinking it will be Sunday if all looks good on Friday. I like doing it on the weekends so I can relax and not have to miss work but I hate that other office I'll have to go to. That was the one where the nurse thought I was my wife's husband! I need to relax and just go with the flow. I keep telling myself that and it's working for the most part.

And oh yeah....my team, Auburn are the national champs! WAR EAGLE!!!

WAR EAGLE!

Anyone that knows me, knows that I love football. Especially my Auburn Tigers who happen to be playing for a National Title today. I'm so excited and can't wait to plop my butt down on the couch tonight and watch them beat Oregon!

In other news, my period should be here any day. Once it rears it's ugly head we will go in for the u/s and then start our round of meds. Here's to hoping lucky #6 does the trick!

We got to see my sweet niece the other day. Her baby shower was Saturday and it was for intents and purposes a keg party. My brothers and their friends played beer pong, the wife and held the baby as much as possible, and my sister and her b/f hung out and drank (him not her). She was 3 days old on Saturday and they had her outside (it was cold!) around a bunch of people from 2pm until who knows. We left at 10pm and the party was going strong. My poor niece didn't have a jacket and was amusing herself by pumping the keg and filling people's cups. Can we say awesome?? All I have to do is give my wife a look and she knows exactly what I'm thinking. This is not how my family behaves mind you, only her. None of the adults were invited because she knew better. I wish I would have gotten invited to the adult party....

Avery Grace

My sister had a baby at 12:42am this morning. Her name is Avery Grace. I replayed this entry in my head last night as I lay in bed thinking about her. She is beautiful and pink and healthy and I am jealous, but also scared for the life ahead of her. My sister is 25 years old. She had her first kid at 19. The whole family has helped to raise that first kid and now she has another one. My sister doesn't make the effort to bathe my niece as often as she should. She always has on dirty clothes and smells like cigarettes. They met us at the Pride parade last year and she told my niece, who is 6, to "shake her booty for some beads". This stuff is heartbreaking to me and the whole family. My wife and I are very close to our niece. We had her every other weekend for years. My sister is a good hearted person but has no business being a mom. She looks at my niece as something to show off. At 3 she commented on how nice my niece's shoulders looked in a tank top she was wearing. My sister places all her worth on whatever guy she is dating at the time. She is still married to my niece's dad even though they split when she was 1. This is her 2nd live in boyfriend since. As my mother says, the baby has a lot of uncles. I could go on and on. I'm not trying to bad mouth my sister but I can't help but feel jaded and pissed off. She called me and told me she was pregnant 1 week in to our 1st 2 week wait. I had to endure her facebook updates of "headed to the health dept to find out the sex of the baby", I had to listen as her no good boyfriend said God hated him for giving him a girl and how my sister just really wished it was a boy for his sake. It's not fair and I'm just pissed. But I'm torn too because little Avery is so fragile and vulnerable and I know she will mess this one up like she's doing my niece. Every time we get her we here more and more of my sister coming through. The last time she came over she told me that her mommy told her that the older she gets the smaller her underwear get. WTF?? She also told me one time that her mommy told her to only marry a cute boy with money. We've done so much but I know that she will turn out just like my sister. I can already see it and I can already see poor Avery headed down that same road. And the best part is...she smoked the whole time during both pregnancies. I know my wife and I could do way better, I just hope we're given the chance.