We went to our annual Pride event here in town yesterday and something happened to me. For the first time ever I actually felt like I wanted to be pregnant. That may sound funny to some of you but I have never had that urge, feeling, or ache to be pregnant. I've always wanted kids but being butch I always asumed that my femme wife would bear me some kids. I never thought I would marry a femme who couldn't. Which lead me to being the default uterus. I've been fine with the idea, a little weirded out, but ok with the thought of being pregnant. I've felt very disconnected to the TTC part while my wife has been so emotionally connected to it. But for the first time, at Pride yesterday, it happened. Now I've had baby fever for a while now and all my wife and I do is stare at babies out in public and talk about "when"...but yesterday it got me. We were leaving Pride and we shared an elevator with another couple who was visibily pregnant. Her wife was rubbing her belly and they were smiling. Her and my sister, who is also pregnant, even discussed maternity clothes. As I stood there watching that I felt the need to be pregnant and ever since then I can't shake that feeling. It was the strangest thing. Hopefully, come the end of this week, I will be pregnant.

I took the Clomid last week and so far my only side effect has been hot flashes which have been really annoying. I'm so pale that they turn me bright red and people have commented. It's really quite embarassing! I should be seeing that smiley face either Thurs or Fri. I'm hoping it shows Thurs because I already have Friday off but who knows. I've had 2 accupuncture treatments this cycle and go in for another one tomorrow. I always feel so good when I keep up with going but it sure does get expensive. Even if it doesn't help with making a baby it sure has made a difference in me so I'm not complaining. I hope everyone out there is good. Wish us luck on try #4 this week!