As I sit here watching World Cup...Viva Argentina!....I'm thinking about what today means to me. My parents split up when I was 8. My dad was a horrible alcoholic. I always loved my dad and have very fond memories of him as well. I was his little buddy. We would fish, grill out, camp. I always remember him drinking a beer during these times, but it was never negative to me. Then all of sudden it seemed like his drinking was out of control and my mom left. The screaming matches only happened for a couple of months there at the end before she left. Because she left, I will be forever grateful. I only realized this within the last few years. I always thought my Dad was the best guy, for those 2 weeks every summer. During the year we had little contact. No birthday calls or cards. It was as if he forgot about us. I always resented him for this and my little brother had an even harder time, and still does. Later, I would learn from my half sister, whose mother did not leave, that her childhood was horrible. Here my brother and I always wanted our dad there and resented our mom for leaving him and my sister was wishing her mom would leave. He stopped drinking a few years ago and is back to the great guy I remember as a kid. Times have changed though and his role is one that's hard to define. He's my dad, but he's not my "dad". He was never there...My mom married a wonderful man who stepped in and became a "dad" to us and we both love him for that. So I called my dad today, and will be going to my parents house to celebrate Father's Day with my step-dad, better known as papa.
All of this had me thinking how our kid will end up not having a "dad". I can't answer that but I know that our baby will have lots of wonderful, respectable, caring, and loving men in their life. I think that will be enough but I can't help but hope our kid won't resent us for not having a dad around like I did my mom. Even though in the end, when I was much older, I realized it was just better that way.
Hapy Father's Day to all the wonderful men who are "dads" to their kids.
5 years ago
I worried about our child having two mommies and no dad, but then I realized that our son is lucky to have us! Maybe someday it will come to the surface that he wishes he had a dad, but we are going to continue to shower him with love and affection. And hope that he realizes that he's loved, lucky and his family is complete.
ReplyDeleteI just caught up on your blog and wanted to say hi. Sorry your first try didn't work but it sounds like you're doing all the right things and I hope you all have lots of luck this next round!
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