One of my coworkers died over the weekend and it's made everyone here at work, including me, incredibly sad. It was unexpected as no one even knew he was sick. He hid his cancer and didn't tell anyone and lost his fight on Saturday. Not only was he a great person to work with personally but his loss will be felt by our University professionally as well. He had a true vision and helped to guide many instructors and he developed many of our programs here that we have launched recently. He was so young, in his 40's, which has had me thinking even more today then I have been recently.

I've been thinking about our son and how old I will be when he hits certain milestones. When he graduates from high school I will be 54. That doesn't seem old but then again it does. My parents had me at 21. They are in their late 50's now and I'm 35. I will be their age with a 20 year old, not a 35 old and I can't help but wonder what he will miss out on. Inevitably, he will lose his parents at a young age and that saddens me. I know no one knows when they will die but I look at my grandparents and other older relatives and how long they have been in my life and he won't have that. My beloved grandmother has been there for the last 35 years and unless my parents live into their 90's, he won't have that either. And then for Ani to die in his 40's, my god. What will become of our son if one of us dies in our 40's? He will be around 10 years old unlike if one of my parents (god forbid) have died in their 40's I would have been in my 20's. I look at my sister who is 25 with an almost 7 year old and a 7 month old and can't help but to feel a little jealous of all the time she will have in their lives. Even if I live to be 70 I only get 35 years with our sweet boy. Does anyone else have these thoughts or is just me? It's crossed my mind a few times but it really hit home today with Ani dying. And don't even get me started on 2.0 which as of now we plan on going for. He'll get 2-3 years less time!

In other news, our boy is good. We've taken to calling him Sweet Lou instead of Cupcake. We did have a scare over the 4th of July weekend and had to go to the emergency room but it turns out he is fine which is all that matters. I've been having really sharp pains on my left side which come and go and also hang around for a few hours too which has been lots of fun. They diagnosed it as round ligament pain which I don't agree with but as long as Sweet Lou is good I'll take it. I have an appt tomorrow so I'm going to talk to my doctor about it.

Our 4th was good, we had a long weekend and I had a break at work since the students were out on summer break. It was nice to relax but now it's back to the grind. It was also the birthday and anniversary of the death of my wife's grandfather so that was sad. My wife and her abuelito were incredibly close and our son is being named after him. Which means that yes, we have a name for our sweet boy. I hit 26 weeks yesterday and I still can't believe he will be here so soon. My wife and mom also booked the place for our shower which is being held on 8/20.

That's about it for my world, I hope your world is good.