I'm such a bad blogger. I haven't posted anything in weeks and I don't even have a reason why. This pregnancy thing has made me kind of a hermit. I feel like I'm tired all the time and besides work, I have little time or energy for little else. By all means am I complaining! I'll be 18 weeks this coming Sunday and I'm starting to look really fat! My pants are getting tight so I see some new work pants in my very near future. Pants shouldn't be an issue to find but I'm starting to think I'll never find any shirts that I like. I identify as butch and maternity clothes most definitely do not. My mom did find me 2 shirts that will work but I can't exactly alternate those 2 shirts for a 5 day work week. I look all the time when we're out and I really have no clue what I'm going to wear. My mother has also taken it on as her mission to find me clothes and it really bothers her to think I'll have nothing to wear. If anyone knows where I can find some plain, simple polos that would be great. I found some at a maternity store but the colors are horrible. Since its summer the clerk told us everything is going to be bright and pastel. Gross. Some of the simple t-shirts aren't bad but then they either have a scoop neck and/or very short sleeves. I wear all men's clothes so this will definitely be a chore to find some tops! I figure outside of work I'll be ok because I can just wear basketball shorts and t-shirts but I will need some work outfits. If anyone has any suggestions, please let me know.

In other news, we have an appt next Tuesday with the ob. I hope she will give me my results from the NT scan and blood work I had to do because I want to know my chances that everyone talks about. I'm not really worried about it and we have already said we won't do an amnio. We figure whatever God gave us is what he meant to but it would be nice to finally get the results. We're also going to schedule our anatomy scan so we can find out what sex our little Cupcake is. I've had 2 dreams that we were told it was a girl but last night I dreamed that we had a boy and it was in baby form in my dream so who knows. I still think it's a boy but we really don't care either way. We really just want to find out so we can start planning our gender party. As long as Cupcake cooperates and shows us the goods we're doing it 6/18. My dad, step-mom, and sister are even coming in from Atlanta because they are that excited. My dad and brother are going to go fishing afterward but my step-mom and sister are on a mission to do some shopping. My dad and step-mom even offered to buy the crib we found which is so very nice of them.

I hope all is well with the rest of you out there!

14 weeks

I still have a hard time believing that I am actually pregnant. I just never thought, ever, that I would be having a baby. We went to the doctor yesterday and it just amazed me to hear the heartbeat, to have that confirmation that yes there is a baby in there. Everything checked out fine, I passed the glucose test, weight and blood pressure were good. I'm still down 5lbs from when we started this process so I guess being pregnant has been a good weight loss plan so far. I haven't gained or loss since about week 6 which the doc is ok with. I have another appt on 5/17 and then the big anatomy scan will be early June. My pants are starting to get a little tight and my boobs are huge, but other then that no sign of showing anytime soon. The m/s is starting to let up, thankfully I never had it too bad and only puked once. I'm still tired though and 10 hours a night of sleep has been my norm since the beginning.

Once we find out the gender we will be having a gender party to reveal to our family and close friends, as well as us, as to what we will be having. We're going to have the tech write down the gender and seal it in an envelope for us. Once we have that we're going to take it to the same baker who did our bridal shower and wedding cake to make a cake for us. We're thinking green with question marks all over it. Then we'll have our family and close friends over to decorate onesies and to find out what we're having. Once we cut the cake it will be either pink or blue. I feel that this is a good compromise since I didn't want to find out and my wife did. Don't tell her but the more we look at baby stuff, the easier I feel it will be to shop if we do find out. If anyone else has done a gender party I'm open to ideas and would love to hear what you did for yours.

13 weeks....wow

We went in for the NT scan today and it was so amazing to see cupcake again! The last time we got to see him/her was at 9weeks and boy did s/he change. Cupcake actually looks like a baby now. We got this really cool profile picture and you can see the ear, nose, and lips. Then we got to see him laying there with his legs crossed and and a hand behind his head. We're just convinced that cupcake is the cutest fetus ever! The tech told us the measurements of the back of the head were in the normal range which was good to hear. She also asked us if we'd like to know the gender because she would look if we wanted her to. We freaked out and said no. I don't think we were prepared to have that option so early. We kept hearing we had to wait between 16 and 20 weeks. We plan on finding out but we're going to do it so that the whole family finds out at the same time. We have an appt next week so I guess the doc will tell us when we can find out the gender so we can plan our gender party. I didn't want to find out but my wife wants to so I think this is a good compromise. Plus it does add some excitement and the family keeps talking about the gender party and when it will be. Even my Dad, step mom, and sister are planning to come into town so that will be nice. I'm feeling better but actually puked for the first time this past Sunday and of course we were at church too! At least I made it to the bathroom, but of all places...really?? I'm still tired but stayed up until 10pm last Friday night so that was a welcome change. My poor wife told me she gets so bored with me going to bed at 9pm every night. I told her to try and enjoy the quiet time because we're certainly in for it come October.

In other news, I'm so proud of my Granma! Me and my Granma have always been really tight. I've never had the "I'm gay" talk with her but she of course knows. PLUS, I'm butch so umm yeah, it's not too hard to figure out. She loves my wife and always asks about her when I talk to her and my wife always come with me for family functions. Now when I told Granma I was pregnant I didn't know how she would react but she has seemed fine with it. She asks me how I'm feeling and is pushing for me to have the baby 10/9 (my due date is 10/16) because that was my Grandpa's birthday. I called Granma yesterday and we were chatting and when she asked about my sweet wife, I told her she was at her parent's house. My Granma then out of nowhere asks if my wife's parents were excited about their new grand baby. I was completely shocked. When I told her I was pregnant I didn't say my wife and I having a baby, I just said that I was pregnant. I told Granma that my wife hasn't told her parents yet but that they likely won't want anything to do with it. She was just in complete shock by this and told me she can't understand how anyone could turn their back on their grand baby. I guess my Granma is more progressive then I thought and that only makes me love her more. Not bad for an 85 year old lady from the backwoods of Alabama!

It feels like it's been forever since I wrote anything and I apologize. We're just plugging along here. Work has been crazy as always plus we had some pretty wicked weather here in Central Florida. These crazy thunderstorms moved through Wednesday afternoon and work actually sent us home early because it was so nasty out. I get home and my recycling bin is 4 houses down so I go get that. Then my neighbor comes out and tells me she has a tree down in her backyard which took a power line out which meant our whole block had no power. It turned out not be just our block as the traffic lights down the main street near our house were all out too. It took 27 hours before our power came back on. It was pretty miserable sleeping with the windows open that night because it stormed all night, we heard every train that went by, and our neighbors got into a screaming match at 2am. So needless to say we got little sleep. It continued to rain all day yesterday and it looks like we have more on the way today. I'm just glad our power is back on.

In other news, I can't believe that we will hit the 12 week mark this Sunday! I'm starting to feel less tired and I have a better appetite but I still feel queasy sometimes. My new love is lemons which is funny because my Mom said she ate those constantly while pregnant with me. We also bought a stroller. My wife has been on a stroller kick and we have been looking at them all over town. She has requirements for this stroller and she found one that she just loves. Now I didn't want to purchase one this early but I do love me a deal. The company is running a promotion that if you purchase the stroller you get the infant car seat free. The stroller is $500 so initially I told her NO but then the promotion came out which does save us $229 for the seat so I told her I would think about it. Then she found it on amazon for $400 and they will honor the promotion so we went for it. I figure we got a $750 stroller and car seat for $400 and that makes me happy. It also makes me nervous that we just bought a stroller. Our NT scan is scheduled for 4/11 and I'm starting to feel like this is pretty real and will result in a baby actually riding in that stroller come October. Plus, we have 30 days to return it for a full refund if something happens. I still get so nervous before my appts like this is all a dream and they will tell me that it's not real. I just really want to sneak a peek at cupcake since we haven't seen him/her since we were 9 weeks! It feels like an eternity and I can't wait to see how much s/he has changed in the last 4 weeks. I guess we'll find out in about 10 days.

Someone else that has been on my mind is Linus. I pray for him and his family everyday. I can't even imagine what they are going through. Stay strong Linus, everyone is pulling for you buddy.

1st OB visit

We had our 1st OB visit today and it was very anticlimactic! We were hoping to see our little cupcake but NO! We went in and filled out forms and were told we owe them $675 by 6/24 which is what we will owe them after insurance. I also got to have a pap smear and std test. The Dr is nice and she is my gyn so I'm used to her. They also gave me a flu shot and scheduled me for the NT test on 4/11. I can't believe we have to wait that long to see cupcake again! They scheduled me for some lab work and I have to do the glucose test now apparently because I'll be 35 when I deliver. Apparently, that is the magic number or "advanced maternal age" as the doc called it. Fuck that, it means I waited for the right person and am financially sound so I'm ready to have a baby. I need to call the lab and schedule the blood work and glucose test and then I go back for a prenatal visit on 4/19. So I guess that means all is well but I'm still a little bummed that she didn't even want to see my beautiful baby cause I know we were both hoping for a peek. She also changed my due date to 10/19 but I'm sticking with what the RE said which is 10/16. The ob is going off my last period and the re is going off my ovulation. I took the damn trigger shot so I guess he knows better then her when I ovulated. So here we are at 10wks 2 days according to the RE or 9wks 6 days according to the ob.

9.5 weeks

I can't believe that I've made it this far! 9.5 weeks seems so surreal to me. I haven't blogged lately because I've been trying not to get too excited. I feel like it will all be ripped out from under us before each appointment. Speaking of appointments, we had one on Monday. I was so nervous because it had been 3 weeks since our last one and I wanted everything to be ok with cupcake. If you've read this blog, it's no secret how much I was over our RE's office and Monday did not disappoint. We had taken half days from work that day so we could go to our 2pm RE appt and a 4pm tax appt. We show up right at 2 and the receptionist just says "you didn't get the call?" Uh no, what call? The Dr is snowed in from his vacation and they called everyone to reschedule, can you some back tomorrow at 2? Uh no! I need to see someone today, so she calls the other office and sends us there to meet with another Dr. What a pain in the ass because the other office is like 10 minutes from work and I could of just gone there to begin with! All was well though when we saw the cutest blob of a baby ever! Everything was good with cupcake and he/she was waiving their little arms and had a heartbeat of 164! They finally released us and we have an appointment with the OB this coming Tuesday. I think I'm finally starting to calm down and realize that cupcake is going to stick around. Its so funny cause all through this I knew we'd get a baby somehow but I never once imagined myself to be pregnant. In fact, I never wanted to be pregnant and just assumed that my wife would carry the baby. That was until we found out she couldn't which led us to where we are now. I still stop and think, oh my god...I am pregnant!

7 weeks

Not much to report here. We hit the 7 week mark last Sunday. I'm still tired all the time. No morning sickness to speak of but I'm starting to feel a little worse in the mornings but if I eat, I usually feel better. I even woke up at 3am last night and was hungry and a little queasy so I drank some juice. I'm hooked on this naked juice that is nothing but fruits and vegetables with some vitamins and fiber mixed in. It's really thick and it holds me over until I can eat some breakfast. I chugged some of that last night and it seems to do the trick and curb that gross feeling in my stomach. Boobs are still sore and I'm peeing a lot. I had a sinus infection for the last week and half and I'm starting to feel better but with that my sense of smell is coming back. My wife used to joke with me that I could never smell anything before but now I smell everything which is not always good. We have another appt on 3/14 so we still have 2 more weeks before we see cupcake again. I swear we'll never get away from the dreaded 2 week wait! I hope all is well with everyone and congrats to all the BFP's going around!