just plugging along

Well we have 1 week down and my period is due here this Friday. I think. Usually my cycles are about 24 days but last month it was 26 days so I'm not really sure when it will show up this month, but Friday would be for a 24 day cycle. So I expect it anytime Friday-Sunday. I'm really going to try and hold out all weekend to test. If it's not here by Monday then I will test then. That's my plan anyways. I almost don't want to test because I don't want to find out if it didn't work. We're out of juice and the Doc wants me to get a HSG if this try is a bust. So you see...it really would be easier if it would just work this time!

Since the funeral last week we got a little bit more bad news. My best friend since 8th grade was supposed to get married last Saturday. Instead, she's spent all week at the bedside of her man who is in the hospital with blood poisoning. It was really bad all last week and he seems to be getting better but he's still in the hospital. They even got married in the hospital last Friday because that's how critical he got. Hopefully he'll be better soon so we can celebrate their wedding down the road. I also had to deal with my battery dying in my truck. I know it doesn't compare to funerals and hospitalization but it was just another stress factor to deal with. So much for a stress free tww.... We got the IUI done on Monday, went to a funeral right after, and came home to the news that our friend was critical in the ICU. It has kept out minds off of it to some extent though.

I've been feeling period like cramps off an on all weekend so hopefully that is a good sign. We went and painted pottery yesterday and I had a moment of intense PMS rage over messing up my little snail where I wanted to smash him to bits on the floor. Either the stress is getting to me, I'm about to start my period, or hopefully I'm pregnant. I do feel like I'm about to start anyday though and I usually don't get this feeling too far in advance of my period so maybe it's a good sign. Fingers crossed and good luck to all of you out there who are trying this month.

try #3

Try #3 is in full effect! We went in yesterday for #3. We only bought 3 vials to start with so hopefully we won't need to buy more. Yesterday was a weird day full of hope and sadness. We went in for the IUI at 2 and then went to our best friend's mother's funeral at 6. Talk about completing the cycle fo life. It was a wonderful, emotional service that just brought me to tears. The woman was 60 years old, not nearly old enough to be gone. Our friend was a wreck and her twin 12 year old grandsons just broke my heart. She will be missed greatly. It was so strange sitting there feeling crampy and thinking about the maybe beginning of a life. I'm more hopeful about this try then I was with the last two. I think it's probably because I always told myself that we would do it within these 3 tries. Now as I sit here, I know that there is a real possiblility that we may have to by more juice. We know two couples who have gone though this and one couple took 6 tries and the other 9 tries. Plus, all these blogs I read where you guys have tried endless times without success. I have guarded hope that this try will work. I think that's in my nature though, I don't want to be hurt, so I don't get my hopes up. I am already over this whole process though so I hope this is it cause I'm ready to get this show on the road! Plus, the Dr, told me that he wants me to get an HSG if this doesn't work. From reading the blogs out there those sound painful! Plus, I need to see if insurance will cover it. I hope all is well with you guys out there. Take care.

CD2

That's right...last cycle was a bust. It pisses me off too because we had hope. I was 2 days late to start my period. We thought there might actually be a chance...but NO. I realize that we have only done 2 IUI's and that there are lots of you out there who have done many more, but seriously, why was I 2 days late. That's the part that has me ticked. Being late meant hope. We had it and now it's gone. It broke my heart to look into my wife's eyes as they teared up. Fuck hope. So I guess we are on the offical ttc rollercoaster of emotions and I want the fuck off it. So now we enter our next try, our last vial, and our last unmedicated cycle, and I really want this to work because I do not like this emotional crap that comes with ttc. The wife and I decided to "re-evaluate" after try #3 if it doesn't work. We'll see what happens......


And thank you to the suggestions from my last post. I have been doing acupuncture, I'm going to start taking B6, and will ask the RE about progesterone. Maybe I can get some hope back.

11dpiui

Well today is 11 days after my 2nd IUI. I should have started my period yesterday on day 10 but didn't. I tested this morning and it was negative. I don't know what's up, but I usually always start on time. So now we wait.....

I have another question too for anyone who reads this. My luteal phase is only around 10 days. If this IUI is a bust, what can I do to lengthen that. My RE does not have me on any medications. I've been constantly reading stuff on the internet that says my luteal phase may be too short. Any suggestions would be appreciated.

overwhelming sadness

My wife and I both work at a University. She is an instructor and I work in Student Affairs. Our paths cross when she refers the "bad" students to me for failing, cheating, missing class, etc. She had a student last semester though that I didn't have the pleasure of meeting. She would come home and tell me all about "Chester". You see this was his nickname that he chose to go by, one he said he picked because you would never forget him. She had many stories about Chester and it is rare that I know one of her students by name that isn't one of the "bad" ones. She has over 100 students in each class each semester and when she mentions them it's usually not by name. I heard stories of how she would tease him about his name, they would talk World Cup, he even knew one of the players on our local Arena Football League team who had the same last name as my wife. We have season tickets to the AFL and he kept telling her that he was going to get his autograph for her. They joked about how the player was my wife's long lost cousin. He even wore a kilt to the midterm because he wanted to distract his fellow students from the test. She joked with him that she didn't want to know if he was wearing it "authentically". I heard all these stories, she had a fondness for this kid, he was her buddy, he who would come in early and stay after class, hang around during break, just so they could talk. They talked about all kinds of things and laughed and shared many stories and experiences.

Yesterday I got a call from his roommate. Chester was found dead. He ran out of insulin and fell into a diabetic coma. His roommate is distraught, blames himself for not being there. It is a tragic, senseless loss. My wife is upset, I even feel sad for this kid that I never met but who I heard so much about. I can't even imagine what his mother is going through. She told us that he called her on Friday night and told her he was out of insulin and she told him to go to the emergency room. When she hadn't heard from him on Saturday she called the sheriffs office and they found him dead. This mom sent her kid off to college and within 2 months he was dead. It sounds so preventable but yet he is gone. I can't even imagine what his family is going through right now.

You were right Chester, you will never be forgotten. Rest in peace.

IUI #2

So my first IUI was virtually painless. It was just like going to the gyno and getting a pap smear. I did have bad cramping for hours afterwards though but no spotting. This IUI was totally different. It was very uncomfortable, not painful, just not painless. I even jumped at one point and the doc told me that was her entering my cervix. She told me that my cervix looked open which was good. She didn't mention that with the first one and I didn't jump like that either. Afterwards I had some spotting but no cramps. So this leads me to wonder, why are they such different experiences? Hopefully it's a good sign. I got my smiley face on Wed at 11am. I went in on Thursday at 3pm. Does this sound good? Last time we did the IUI the same day as our surge. Any thoughts would be appreciated. Have a good weekend everyone!

CD13

Well it's CD 13 and it seems like we're moving right along. I should be seeing a smiley face either later on today or tomorrow. This works out because this week is an easy week here at work. I'm hoping I see it today since we have a company picnic tomorrow and it would be easy to slip away to go see the doc and no one would know. I tested at 11am and will test again at 7pm just to make sure I don't miss it like last month. I usually get a positive on CD13 but my period was a day later so someone told me I would O a day later as well. I just want to get the smiley face, get the IUI, and get pregnant!

We had a great vacation! We went to North Georgia and spent some time with my dad, step mom, sister, and brother. It was nice to get away but I was constantly testing and hoping not to see that smiley face while we were there because it would mean another missed cycle. My dad and step mom are more than ready to have a grandchild and mentioned it several times while we were there. The kept saying how next July we would have a baby at our annual get together. I sure hope that their right. They even picked out what they want to be called. Apparently, it's a big deal. Whatever they want is fine, but my sister has to approve it she says. She was raised an only child (she is theirs, we just share a dad) and I think she is jealous of all this baby talk. She is her mom's world and now hearing her mom keep telling me how much she wants a grandbaby has rubbed her the wrong way. She's 10 years younger than me and everything is a competition. Other then that, it was good to get away and see our family, albeit we had an 8 1/2 hour drive to do it and they only had to drive an hour! Next year I think we're planning somewhere closer like the Georgia coast.

Cheers to try #2!